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Professor X

You’re Fired Ex-Men (final edition)

Pete Holmes is a wickedly funny comedian, and he had some spot-on videos about the weaknesses of the X-Men team.  For his now defunct late night show, Holmes did a series of skits on the failings of many of the X-Men heroes, and how their vulnerabilities made them a threat to the team. He portrayed Professor X in eleven hilarious but vulgar video clips. I previously spotlighted Wolverine, Nightcrawler, Gambit, Jubilee, Rogue, Storm and Jean Grey. That leaves my last four to get their walking papers! (For mature audiences only)

Angel: What can Angel do besides fly? Does he truly have any other power? Nope.

Iceman: What does the song Kiss From A Rose by Seal have to do with Iceman’s firing? Watch to find out.

Cyclops: What is keeping Cyclops laser beams from killing everyone? His glasses. The glasses that could fall off his head at any time!

Magneto: Professor X insults his arch-nemesis, and their disrespectful quips back and forth are hilarious. Their insults are evenly balanced until the end, when the Professor gets one last dig in.

Thus concludes my months in the making series of these X-Men spoofs. Make sure you enjoy all eleven videos when no tender ears are nearby!

-Nancy

You’re Fired X-Men (the ladies edition)!

Pete Holmes is a wickedly funny comedian, and he had some spot-on videos about the weaknesses of the X-Men team.  For his now defunct late night show, Holmes did a series of skits on the failings of many of the X-Men heroes, and how their vulnerabilities made them a threat to the team. He portrayed Professor X in eleven hilarious but vulgar video clips. I previously featured Wolverine’s firing and then Nightcrawler, Gambit & Jubilee’s swan songs, while today we see how the esteemed leader treats the ladies.  Warning- they are for mature audiences only!

 

Rogue: Professor X is not taken in by Rogue’s southern charm and accuses her of being an energy vampire. Her need for love risks death for other team members, if she were to touch them.  Bye bye, sugah!

 

 

Storm: While he appreciates Storm’s abilities, he wants to harness them for his own benefit. A little black mailing isn’t out of the question for him, although she shows him the integrity he himself is lacking.

 

 

Jean Grey: Beware my gentle readers for this last video clip. Turns out our kindly Professor X has a secret crush on Jean and lets her know in no uncertain terms. He might now need to be called Professor X-Rated.

 

If you made it this far, you will agree with me that our staid Professor X is secretly a big ole’ perv. Now we know what he was really thinking!

-Nancy

 

You’re Fired Ex-Men!

Pete Holmes is a wickedly funny comedian, and he had some spot-on videos about the weaknesses of the X-Men team.  For his now defunct late night show, Holmes did a series of skits on the failings of many of the X-Men heroes, and how their vulnerabilities made them a threat to the team. He portrayed Professor X in eleven hilarious but vulgar video clips. I previously featured Wolverine’s firing, but plan to highlight others in future posts.  Warning- they are for mature audiences only!

Nightcrawler: Our favorite blue guy gets insulted and told not only is he creepy but he smells when he teleports! Poor guy- what is he going to do now? It’s not like he can pass into society as he has a very distinct look!

Gambit: I love me some Gambit, and wouldn’t mind spending some time with this sexy Cajun, but his skills are weak, I have to admit. What if he runs out of cards? Then what????

Jubilee: What can Jubilee actually do? Although an appealing teen, with her trademark yellow jacket and sunglasses, she doesn’t seem to add much to the X-men team. I would actually have to agree- you’re fired!

There’s more gems like these for another day!

-Nancy

X-Men: God Loves, Man Kills

Graphic Novelty²  would like to introduce our first guest to post on our blog, Nancy’s husband, Cliff!

So, final exams week for Nancy. I volunteered to do a guest post to give her a break, then remembered I really haven’t kept up with the comics world for many years (besides ElfQuest). Nancy’s already done a review of the elves, so I figured we’d go back to school; the Old School, that is…

I read The Uncanny X-Men for awhile in the mid 80’s, and this is the book that drew me in (I picked it up several years after it had originally been published). I’ve read that it wasn’t considered part of the overall X-Men canon for many years, but the story is a doozy nonetheless. Religious extremism bordering on fascism, an unlikely alliance between the X-men and Magneto, innocent mutant children being hunted and killed, torture and deception, a lot of suspense wondering about the fates of several key characters, and a final showdown at a Madison Square Garden crusade. The artwork has a dark and rough around the edges quality that fits the mood of the tale.

Looking back, I remember thinking that Wolverine was the coolest thing ever (I was in my early teens when I read this, ’nuff said) and wishing that he’d had a more prominent role (although he did play a significant part in the story); nonetheless, this graphic novel has a good overall balance. The character development is spread pretty evenly (with the notable exception of Storm), and two things in particular stood out when I re-read it: at the end, Cyclops/Scott confronts the evil William Stryker on the podium and makes an eloquent plea for acceptance and tolerance. I also was impressed with the way Kitty Pryde’s character was written. I remember her not being very well developed in the monthly comics; here, she shows a lot of backbone, standing up for herself and her fellow mutants, and she isn’t afraid to get angry. She also shows of some pretty cool survival skills that help her to outwit her opponents.

A few negatives: too many characters with huge thought balloons or those talking-out-loud explanations of what they’re doing that would never cut it in real time (think of those movies where James Bond has only 30 seconds to defeat an enemy and disarm a bomb, but the scene takes more than two minutes); however, this being a graphic novel that was sold in bookstores to the general public, maybe the author went in with the idea of placing a lot of character info in the story for those who were not familiar with the X-Men or their history. Also, while I’m no fan of fundamentalist religious beliefs, the bad guys felt a little too cookie cutter and one dimensional, though I did find Rev. Stryker’s background story pretty interesting.

Overall, I’d give this one a solid B. It was fun re-reading it all these years later. Maybe the costumes haven’t aged well, but the universal themes behind the story remain timeless. I’d definitely recommend it to anyone, comics fan or not.

School is now dismissed!

godlovesmankills2
Claremont, Christopher and Brent Eric Anderson. God Loves, Man Hates. 1982.

Bit of trivia: What is wrong with this picture???

 

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